Saturday, October 14, 2006

Fisking Alex Hilton

Alex Hilton (of Recess Monkey and LabourHome) wrote an article on CommentIsFree yesterday in which he tried to defend the indefensible - the effect? Within hours his Labour MP mates Sion Simon and Tom Watson had apologised and withdrawn their silly little video from YouTube. My comments are in bold...

"Sion Simon may well be nursing a sore head after the reaction to his David Cameron spoof YouTube effort. Yet the glee with which Tory MPs have lined up to criticise him illustrates one of the least attractive qualities in the modern politician, that of faux outrage.
Of which Alex, you are a past master. If you noticed, though, Conservative Central Office said that they were "entirely relaxed" about it. As well they might have been considering the increased traffic to Webcameron.
Various Conservative members of parliament have been spotted on television, radio and quoted in the press referring to Simon's "outrageous" video, which, if it really were outrageous, would be unplayable on television or on newspapers' websites.
Er, as well as a few Labour MPs. And Alex, you're seriously telling me that if two Tory MPs hadn't done this you wouldn't be slagging them off on Recess Monkey? Come come. Too much fauz outrage on your part methinks. Having said that, when asked to comment on it on TV I took the view that it was puerile but couldn't quite see why the media were giving it so much publicity.
As it is, the film is getting far more exposure than its maker would have hoped or guessed.
Yes, agreed. But it also made them both look prats. Fine by me.
The video itself is a David Brent-style piece to camera of a man in a baseball cap, called Dave, who's willing to do anything to get you to believe he's a normal guy. "Just like you" is the recurring theme of the piece - and to get you to believe it, Dave is willing to let you sleep with his wife, take one of his children and let you move into his house.
Yep, great taste there, guys. Rory Bremner without the humour. Apart from the fact that Sion Simon neither looked nor sounded like David Cameron. Apart from that, very accurate. Not.
Not by accident, this is an apt description of Cameron's activity on the web. He's having his team write blogs and make videos, all desperately trying to show that he's a normal guy but all his frantic Webcameronisation only serves to display his superficiality. The fact is that if you "engage" with Cameron via his websites, your comments will be moderated out unless couched in the most sycophantic of tones.
Now Alex, you really shouldn't tell lies. Because you always get found out in the end. You will see many negative comments on his blog. I decided to put your point to CCHQ and a spokesman came back with this. "There is plenty of criticism of David on Webcameron. One wonders if Alex Hilton has actually read any of the comments."
Go to Webcameron now and see if he answers any questions on tax policy for example. I got banned for doing so.
CCHQ's response to this allegation is: "This is 100% incorrect. NOBODY has been banned from Webcameron. (although the instruction 'go to Webcameron now' is something we have no problem with - Labour have been very helpful in boosting our traffic over the last couple of days) There have been plenty of questions about tax and David has stated that he wants to answer questions as time allows - the levels of feedback have been enormous and the team are working on a solution to automate this process and enhance interaction between David and Webcameron members. If people want to criticise the site that's fine - we welcome debate - but the allegations he makes are factually incorrect and totally misleading. This is an article high on personal invective but low on facts."
But the horde of "disgusted of Penge" Tory MPs doesn't seem to realise that silly jokes are what normal people do with each other every day at work, at home and in the pub and the affected outrage is so transparent that it stirs support from none but the most loyal followers. Where was their outrage last week when Francis Maude's business links to pornography were exposed or when Thatcher and Major presided over 3 million unemployed and 2 million children living in poverty?
God you're desperate aren't you? Have The Guardian demanded their £75n quid back yet?
This is the traditional Tory outrage hypocrisy. Poverty and social injustice are like water off a duck's back to them - but they will instantly become swivel-eyed and apoplectic at the hint of a breach of etiquette. As an aside, I should mention Labour MP Stephen Pound's criticisms of Sion Simon on the BBC.
Yes, you should.
Steve's a funny man but the last joke I heard him tell was about Harriet Harman naked and brandishing a whiplash in order to secure votes for the Labour deputy leadership - so he's hardly the locus of parliamentary good taste.
No, but he's a damn sight funnier than you, and he hasn't got his tongue so far up....well...
Sion Simon's web spoof has shown that he's an ordinary bloke with a regular sense of humour who happened to get elected to parliament.
No it hasn't actually. It's shown he's a prat who's made a fool of himself and now admitted it by apologising. perhaps you'd like to do the same.
David Cameron is an Eton toff, 38th or whatever in line to the throne, who is using the web to convince you that he's an ordinary bloke. So which one of them outrages you?
I think Sion Simon and Tom Watson have given you your answer to that one. Tell me, how many conversations did you have with either of them before writing that article? Do you regret it now? I think we should be told."

54 comments:

Croydonian said...

AH's post at Labour Home on this has some truly bizarre comments too...

Joey B said...

Is teh Labour Party and the media trying to help the Conservatives win the next election?

Stan Bull said...

The NuLaboristas are getting desperate and sinking ever lower into the depths -to which we will finally sweep them in 2009.We, by contrast, are paragons of virtue. I mean we are not likely to have Boris Johnson popping up on Youtube doing an impression of an autistic Gordon.Perish the thought.

Mr. Dale, I suspect you mean past master not mast master in para3 of your posting. I suspect mast masters failed to survive the advent of modern shipping.

Anonymous said...

No, Sion didn't sound much like Cameron, but looks? Seperated at birth if you ask me.

I see that Recess Monkey Crew have penned a poor apology to the lib dems on Calderdale for parroting the libellous slurs on them from the Halifax Courier - yet insteadd of reshaping his page, our Alex leaves the libel at the top. Lazy or malicious?

This is the second pathetic labour attempt to try to smear lib dems with 'Nazi' links in recent days. Are they so desperate they have to sink to this garbage? The other recent one is pretending that Coincillor ian Donaldson on Manchester City Council 'was making a Nazi salute' when he put up his hand asking the mayor to speak. Anyone who knows this man, knows that he's an out gay and a strident battler for minorities: if there ever were a Nazi takeover Ian Donaldson would be shot before the others were even lined up against the wall.

Modern Conservative said...

It is odd isn't it couldn't miss the mark more massively had Hazel Blear written it herself - accept of course Labour HQ has unlike Alex the sense to disown this nonsense.

ian said...

This entry is missing the customary plug for 18 Doughty Street.

Anonymous said...

Hilton's puerile efforts at justification symptomatic of the collective madness of a party facing eviction. Its what happens. Blunkett's shameless diaries, Campbell trying to reinvent himself, Blair in denial, Brown plotting in a darkened room, Straw clutching at straws, Clarke going slowly bonkers, backbencher plots, Prescott in a new Potemkin office, not one minister in control of portfolio whilst a General tells the nation what we all, other than Blair know. Get out of Iraq. The looting has started. Hilton is a not a prat normally but the manic contagion has got him too.Another client for my friend Derek Draper.

Anonymous said...

Misread the headline and was expecting a different story completely!!

Anonymous said...

You can normally rely on Michael White to dribble forth with this sort of rubbish, but to be fair he is employed to do it. I wish the Guardian would be a bit more discerning with their £75.

The very recent Nu-Labour recaction to the Gordon brown autism comments seems to be exactly the sort of thing that Hilton is whining about. Perhaps we could be blessed with his opinion on that, too.

Unknown said...

Iain, you really should get out more. And how is it that CCHQ is responding to my piece via you? Are you the official CCHQ mouthpiece now or are they just too cowardly to respond to me direct?
And I have had politely worded queries on policy fail to get through moderation on D-Cam's blog so your un-named and cowardly CCHQ contact is either misinformed, lying or spinning like a dervish.

Alex Hilton

Anonymous said...

Labour MP makes a prat of himself on Youtube, and just to remove any doubt about his lack of comic skills he does the sky interview.
But hey man its cool, cos we just blame the bloody tories!

Anonymous said...

Isn't it a bit ironic that this post is followed immediately by an advert supplied by an agency of which Alex Hilton is the Managing Director?

Isn't there something a little unholy about this alliance?

Anonymous said...

What is it about the Hilton's?
Are the LD's as well blessed as Lab & Con?

Anonymous said...

Sion Simon is an MP's researcher turned journalist who became an MP.

Alex Hilton is an MP's researcher turned journalist who tried and is still trying to become an MP.

How anyone can't spot why he might be trying to curry favour in certain quarters is beyond me.

Anonymous said...

What struck me about the video was that though the speaker was obviously supposed to be Cameron the script was pure Blair. "Hey, y'know, I'll promise anything to get a vote or two."
Is this what British politics has come to? Come back Lord Sutch, all is forgiven...

The Daily Pundit said...

Alex also seems to have a problem with ethnic minorities, constantly referring to them on his blog as 'Brown people'.

Recess Monkey: "So will the Tories have a brown candidate in Watford or not? What does Francis Maude’s Interracial Adviser Rehman Chishti have to say about this?"
Here »

Recess Monkey: "David Drew (Lab, Stroud) may not be a Tory harbouring fears of brown people taking over but ... "
Here »

Anonymous said...

Recess Monkey is seriously accusing others of 'lying or spinning'?!?!

He is most definately the Chad Noble of the Labour Party

Anonymous said...

Why is everyone shrieking so much about Sion Simon's satire? It may not have been up to Ali G standards but it wasn't THAT bad. And surely David Cameron's web efforts are worth a bit of a tickle.
Calm down, dears!

Anonymous said...

If the best Alex Hilton can come up with is a teenage-style 'you need to get out more' remark, we can all sleep tonight safe in the knowledge that his sense of humour is as poor as his journalism.

And maybe he might get more from CCHQ if he actually bothered to do his research properly rather than relying on you, Iain - or perhaps he's just jealous that CCHQ and indeed the rest of the political world listens to Iain Dale but couldn't give a crap what he thinks.

Anonymous said...

Alex Hilton is really letting himself down here. He's like one of those Japanise soldiers still fighting the war years after the surrender. Simon has universally been hailed as a prick (by many apolitical people may I add), Watson realises it's a mistake and has taken it down, yet the best Mr Hilton can do is throw insults and talk about unemployment 25 years
ago.

Shame.

Unknown said...

I am Indian from East Africa so the reference to "brown" people is ironic.

I'm thick skinned. The more you tories hate me the better I'm doing my job at exposing your inner evil - but for heaven's sake draw the line somewhere. You can call me any name under the sun - but it's really unfair to equate me with Chad Noble!!

Anonymous said...

Guido Fawkes and you ought to get your act together. You are missing
perhaps the political story in years while wasting time on this rubbish.

Anonymous said...

There's only one point to make about WebCameron. It's a piece of total crap. Fake, shallow, boring and trying too hard to be right on.

They've made it public before it works 100%. It's faux amateur and unprofessional - in all senses.

Us kids know what hip is. And Cameron will never ever be down with the yoof so this exercise is achingly condescending and a complete yawn.

Anonymous said...

Can I have my tuppence too just to add to yours?

"Sion Simon may well be nursing a sore head after the reaction to his David Cameron spoof YouTube effort. Yet the glee with which Tory MPs have lined up to criticise him illustrates one of the least attractive qualities in the modern politician, that of faux outrage.

Ummmmm. I haven't sen any who haven't been interviewed directly, and certainly none who have gloated...why would they gloat if the video was good and valid? What about Bliars and others faux outrage...Dianas death etc.? Mind you, no faux outrage over Reg Keyes speech at election was there, from Bliar or Simon....

Various Conservative members of parliament have been spotted on television, radio and quoted in the press referring to Simon's "outrageous" video, which, if it really were outrageous, would be unplayable on television or on newspapers' websites.

Quite right, and why not? This tosser makes an unfunny, puerile and personal video attacking David Cameron, and posts it on YouTube, but fucking idiots like you are beating your breast in righteous indignation when someone says they don't like it?

Desperate hypocrisy from a Labour knob.

As it is, the film is getting far more exposure than its maker would have hoped or guessed.

The figure I saw was only of 690 viewings, so not that much. Besides, any YouTube video of some fucking idiot from Parliament, making a true and genuine twat of himself, would attract that kind of viewing if given coverage on the various politics sites.

The video itself is a David Brent-style piece to camera of a man in a baseball cap, called Dave, who's willing to do anything to get you to believe he's a normal guy. "Just like you" is the recurring theme of the piece - and to get you to believe it, Dave is willing to let you sleep with his wife, take one of his children and let you move into his house.

And what is tasteful about that?

One other question before your head explodes with this indignation...do you think David Cameron is a pretty straight kind of guy like Bliar TOLD the whole country he was? I sem to have forgotten where your indignation was written in reams over that? Care to point us to the URL?

Not by accident, this is an apt description of Cameron's activity on the web. He's having his team write blogs and make videos

Bliar and New Labour tossers like you know fuck all about military matters, strategy or day to day tactics...so does that mean they shouldn't commit the troops? Or is it that Bliar and the Labour Government you love have no need of advisors because they are expert at everything?

The fact is that if you "engage" with Cameron via his websites, your comments will be moderated out unless couched in the most sycophantic of tones.

I've seen negative comments, many of them.

Go to Webcameron now and see if he answers any questions on tax policy for example. I got banned for doing so.

Cameron should NOT discuss any policy with knobs like you about. Do you mean tax policy like refundung soldeirs taxes while they are on active service? That policy was announced six weeks ago, then enacted by Bliar and Brown a week or so ago.

Tell them to fuck off Dave and keep policies for a time when Labour tossers can't pinch them.

blah blah blah last week when Francis Maude's business links to pornography were exposed or when Thatcher and Major presided over 3 million unemployed and 2 million children living in poverty?

Got to agree with Iain here; nothing but desperation. Here's a newsflash for you recess monkey mong...Thatcher left office near 16 years ago, and we have more people on incapacity benefit now than the dole queues then anyways.

Mong.

This is the traditional Tory outrage hypocrisy. Poverty and social injustice are like water off a duck's back to them

You mean like the way the poor have grown poorer and the rich richer in the past nine years amongst other things, like massive privatising the NHS, education, transport etc. etc.? You are your mates are only in power by becoming that which you claim to despise so much, and that must really leave a nasty taste does it?

Mong.

As an aside, I should mention Labour MP Stephen Pound's criticisms of Sion Simon on the BBC.

Amongst others.....

Steve's a funny man but the last joke I heard him tell was about Harriet Harman naked and brandishing a whiplash in order to secure votes for the Labour deputy leadership - so he's hardly the locus of parliamentary good taste.

At least ou admit it was a joke, while NO-ONE, literally, has said what Simple Simon did was in the remotest funny.

Sion Simon's web spoof has shown that he's an ordinary bloke with a regular sense of humour who happened to get elected to parliament.

According to who? You are the only one who thinks that, and Watson maybe. Everyone else, from all parties, just think he's a twat, and his arrogant behaviour on Sky showed he doesn't consider himself an ordinary bloke.

People like him used to get chinned in the NAAFI every Saturday night...you could almost guarantee it.

David Cameron is an Eton toff, 38th or whatever in line to the throne, who is using the web to convince you that he's an ordinary bloke. So which one of them outrages you?

Ahhhhh, class war.

Give me the Eton toff who doesn't need to fiddle the taxpayers or screw the system, like Bliar and his ugly wife, or Prescott and the rest. You want the local chav to run the country do you?

Mong.

Anonymous said...

Steve we don't hate you. C'mon you are not worth it. But you and your mate Sion are below par with recent activities. Your article was piss poor - admit it when you have had time to reflect. Sion Simon's effort was also weak 0 nothing wrong about getting at Cameron - we all do.
I think you fellows are having a collective break down - seriously. I will sponsor you for three sessions with my friend Derek Draper to show there is no ill feeling. xxx. Get well soon.
Talking about unemployment 30 years ago, what do you think of Grunwick et al?

Anonymous said...

Alex should stick to calling Lib Dem MPs paedophiles. He showed a real talent for it at the beginning of the year.

Unknown said...

I object to your repeated use of the word "Mong" as I'm sure it will offend those of Iain's readers with mental disabilities.

Though I'm sure this will earn you some brownie points with your shadow chancellor.

Anonymous said...

Alex Hilton and the hereditory system. Make us laugh. In the 2002 elections in Redbridge, Labour candidates included: Alexander J P Hilton; Lesley R Hilton,; Meredith C Hilton; Norman A Hilton.

If thats not keeping it in the family, what is?

Anonymous said...

Alex you have had a tough day. Just ignore the insults. Not personal at all, aplogies. Re your little Freudian slip on 'brownie points' - methinks its you that is after Brownie points. Wish you well in your Brownosing and selection as a Labour candidate. Sincerely, Dr Griswold. I urge a session with my friend Dr D Draper.

Anonymous said...

faux outrage is so pseud as a phrase. Why use French?

`
Perhaps its because he has to bite on a condom to be able to defend such prats.

Anonymous said...

Alex, it's not only Tories who 'hate' you, put it that way. Don't try and get some self-justification here.

Anonymous said...

I mean we are not likely to have Boris Johnson popping up on Youtube doing an impression of an autistic Gordon.

Why on earth not? Now that would really have them rolling in the aisles. Not least because Boris has genuine style, wit and comic talent. Go for it, BJ!

towcestarian said...

Oh dear. We seem to have upset Mr Monkey by using the word "mong". How utterly non-PC of us! Slapped wrists all around - whoops slapping is non-PC as well. I guess we will have to send ourselves for PC "re-education".

100 lines please Mr Shotgun:
"I will not refer to the mentally retarded Mr Monkey as a Mong; he is just intellectually challenged"

Anonymous said...

Hate you Alex? I've barely heard of you. Though a quick look on Wikipedia was enlightening:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Hilton

Clearly the colleague who puked on you had the right idea.

More generally though, can we please stop all these children standing for Parliament? Say, introduce a minimum age of 40. It might just force them to actually do something in the real world before entering politics.

Anonymous said...

Eton Toffs may be stupid vain and out of touch with ordinary people resulting in them having their heads permanently lodged up their own backsides.

However this can be easily the case with people who did not go to public schools. Sion Simon being a perfect example.

Eton toffs still have children get married, fart, shit, and have nasty personal sexual habits like almost everyone else in parliament and elsewhere does. And yes they do sometimes do their own washing up.

At least David Cameron has the confidence to expose himself to public scrutiny and for that he should be given plenty of credit.

Tony Blair and Gordon Brown not to mention a magority of Socialist MPS would not and could not possibly take the risk of exposeing themselves to any type of personal intrusive scrutiny. This has obviously given the Labour party a bit of a problem, and it now shows.

DCs attempt to disarm his detractors is working. The BBC will spend the next few years representing him as an out of touch fool. But when the election comes will have great difficulty in also representing him as a covert danger to individual liberty,and the concept of public services, like they did with Thatcher and Howard.

Just for those of you that have taken in too much BBC output over many years, and therefore have no idear what the Conservative Party has long since stood for.

The whole purpose of the Conservative party is the protection of individual liberties and freedom. Not just by laws but by createing the conditions that liberty is possible, practical and to the potential benifit of all the people of Britain, rich or poor, black or white, Christian or not.

If it is not this I have been voting for the wrong party for 27 years.

I have no problem believing that David Cameron is as much of a Conservative as Thatcher Churchill or Heath, untill I see any evidence myself to the contrary. So far I have seen non whatsoever.

Man in a Shed said...

It always interests me how much Hate is a motivator for those on the Left like Sion Simon and Alex Hilton.

Perhaps what they really hate is their own internal contradictions - externalised onto those who point them out.

By the way good Fisk Iain.

Tom Watson did the right thing in the end - unreserved apology. He lives to fight another day with much of the respect people had for him still intact. That's not true of everyone else.

Anonymous said...

I object to your repeated use of the word "Mong" as I'm sure it will offend those of Iain's readers with mental disabilities.

I'm honoured that you shopuld single out my post for attention...little old me must have hoit a nerve.

As to the word mong, I would say it is an accurate description of you and not meant to be derogatory. Why do you imply that it is derogatory? Have you something against mongs? I like to be inclusive to all here in my posts, including mongs, and Iain obviously feels the same which is why he allows you to post your drivel.

You shouldn't treat mongs badly Monkey boy because they are people too and should be allwoed thier opinion.

Gracchi said...

Great post- Sion Simon I think is desperate partly because he is now trying to get back favour with our dear leader thanks to him signing the letter telling Blair to get lost. Seems like Sion still wants a job so has done this as a desperate attempt to get one back.

Anonymous said...

"The whole purpose of the Conservative party is the protection of individual liberties and freedom".....
"David Cameron is as much of a Conservative as Thatcher Churchill or Heath"

Well, I'd agree that the first part is what the goal should be even if it's not always the reality. But on the second? Cameron might be a soggy Heathite but that's as far as it goes.

Anonymous said...

Me thinks it was no 'mistake' that Recess Monkey failed to get into the political blogs book.

Anonymous said...

Alex Hilton is Chad Noble

Do I win a prize?

Anonymous said...

I can testify to the fact that critical remarks are published on the Webcameron comments section. I wrote a frightfully critical comment and it has been published in full.

Benedict White said...

Words fail me Iain. i can't poosibly express my contempt for these utter .... without using words I would not want my children to hear me using.

I just can't get the envy. I also just can't stand this utterly cretinous idea that Conservatives don't care about people on the lowest rungs of society.

All Sion "I am the biggest pratt in Westmister" Simon can manage is being an awful cringe making pratt.

Anonymous said...

"Yep, great taste there, guys. Rory Bremner without the humour."

You mean Rory Bremner.

janestheone said...

nice fisk job Iain - the man himself is on Desert Island Discs today

James Higham said...

This is entirely right, Iain - faux outrage is phony and counter-productive, politically, with the little people like us. Also, what a fabulous word verification you just set me below - lolwop!

Anonymous said...

Lerxst
A half thank you.

The reason why I said I had not seen any evidence that DC is not another Thatcher etc, is because he is not been prime minister yet.

Have a go at him if you wish now it is your right. However if he turns out to be the out of touch public school boy closet authoratarian socialist that some Conservative supporters think he may be, get shot of him THEN.

Remember this country is not yet a republic. You do not vote for David Cameron, you vote for a Conservative candidate. Prime ministers have less real controll over policy and how it is implemented than is commonly accepted. Civil-servants do the real work under the controll of ministers.

I promiss that if DC does turn out to be another socialist in power. I will do all I can to "stab him in the back" with the longest knife available. As will all the Tory members I know, which is many.

Anonymous said...

Iain shouldn't be too smug.... his blog hasn't been short on faux outrage in the past.

Anonymous said...

Gary Powell: "Civil-servants do the real work under the controll of ministers"

Sounds a bit Labour-apologist to me. Or are you saying that civil servants only take the reins when the Conservatives are in power?

Anonymous said...

Would this be the Alex Hilton who stood for NuLab in Canterbury in 2005.

The Alex Hilton who claimed to live in Canterbury, but didn't. The Alex Hilton, infuriated by the LibDems' raising this point, who went round to the first house with a LibDem poster he saw & harangued the bemused occupants? Then threatened the LibDem agent with legal action for defamation? How we laughed at loser Hilton. He seriously thought he'd win! Priceless.

Anonymous said...

GaryPowell

Oh, I will continue to have a go at Dave.

I guess where I disagree with you is where you talk about 'if he turns out to be [a] closet authoratarian socialist'. I don't see much 'closet' about it, given his statements so far. Haranguing business, paternalistic lecturing, defence of public sector spending - if anything is hidden away in the closet, it's his conservatism.

As Kaletsky accurately put it, Dave's utterances have been 'unashamedly statist, high-tax, anti-enterprise '.

Ryan Newell said...

The Sion Simon spoof was not very successful but the UKIP one was. www.webcameron.info has now had over 200.000 hits.

Anonymous said...

Alex Hilton is a Harry Potter look alike who is univerally acknowledged to have been the worst candidate Labour has ever fielded for the no-hope seat of Canterbury.come back Cheryl Hall - all is forgiven.

Glad that The Grauniad is paying for his Opal Fruits. A decent editor like Paul Dacre wouldn't allow him to supervise paper clips.

And - --- let's hear it ---- I have never voted Tory in my life - my family has been in the Labour Party since 1899 and I know a first clas,, thick wanker when I see one.

Get a life, Alex, pass an exam - learn to read - or don't they do 'Janet and John' where you hatched?

Anonymous said...

Alex Hilton: can't write - looks like a bad version of Harry Potter and was the universally acknowledged worst Labour candidate in the history of the no - hope Canterbury seat.
What cat turd did Risbridger rustle to scoop him up?

Not a media bad boy -- just a sad and ugly simp.