"It is about time those greedy, grasping MPs who, racking up their own salaries, expenses and pensions, never cease whingeing about Prince Charles put a sock in it. In his quiet way he achieves more than the lot of them put together" - Best-selling author Frederick Forsyth.
"There is nothing wrong with having a big bum and wodgy arms - and I would defend to the death anyone's right to be fat" - Victoria Wood.
"John Prescott is a fat git who has done nothing for this country" - TV's Noel Edmonds.
"Football's a difficult business and aren't they prima donnas" - The Queen.
"Dear Dave, Your recruitment efforts for Ukip have been truly exceptional. People are now flocking to join us. Please accept this token of our profound appreciation" - Message on a bouquet sent by Nigel Farage, the Ukip leader, to David Cameron over the view expressed that the Tories should ditch the views of Winston Churchill for those of left-wing writer Polly Toynbee.