Monday, August 13, 2007

John Prescott: A Statement

That'll fookin' teach the bloody reptiles who reckon I can't write I mean if you can't fookin' write you don't trouser half a million bloody knicker for your fookin' memoirs do you anyway the wife's reet choofed cos it'll keep in hats for years and they won't fookin' be able to call me 'Two fookin' Jags' anymore will they I'm gonna buy a whole fookin' fleet of 'em and to those buggers who reckon I can't fookin' write in 'fookin sentences i've just proved 'em fookin' wrong what's this if it ain't a fookin' sentence. Anyone know a fookin' good ghostwriter?

48 comments:

vanfuertes said...

Your phonetics make him sound like a geordie! lol.

Alan Douglas said...

Mr Prescott,

You spelled fookin' feckin' wrong !

Alan Douglas

Anonymous said...

Dyslexics of the world: Untie!

Anonymous said...

Is this an example of the type of abuse you have received over the weekend?

Wrinkled Weasel said...

No ghostwriter on earth is going to be able to unravel the farrago of spluttering plosives and malapropisms that characterise the (for want of a better word) "speech" of the former DPM.

You could approach Tracy Temple of course for a quote, but I fear she might have her mouth full.

neil h said...

"Can I go to the ranch? Please let me go the ranch. I want to go to the ranch!"

thetruthshallsetyoufree said...

and you wonder why the tories make no ground in the north

Iain Dale said...

And you wonder why lefties haven;t got a sense of humour.

And, of course no Labour supporter would ever dream of poking fun at David Cameron for being an Old Etonian, would they? Of course not.

C4' said...

Any money that Prescott makes off this 'book' should go to the taxpayer for all the freebies he's had at the public's expense.

Then again, just who would want to buy Prescott's book? A colouring book and crayons would be better value for money.

Gordon's Gofer said...

ha ha lets all laugh at the bloke who actaully had to work to get where he is instead of being handed it on a silver plate.... of course some Tories are from a 'proper' background but how many of your front bench were born into wealthy cricumstances??? its easy of you start having the Earl of Bute as your uncle.

judith said...

Are the Labour-voting burghers of Hull really, really pleased with the performance of Mr Prescott in recent weeks?

What had he done to ensure there were adequate safeguards against flooding? Where was he during the floods? Doing a deal with his publisher and a team of translators, one assumes.

Rich said...

I facking hate it when Southerners try to write swear words phonetically in a Northern voice.

Cassilis said...

There's no excusing the 'humour bypass' that seems to afflict politics sometimes Iain but that doesn't mean all bets are off and anything goes - we need to live by the electoral consequences of the jokes we make.

Of course Labour supporters routinely mock Cameron for his background but when they do we cry foul - that 'Bullingdon' photo has about as much to do with Cameron's abilities as, well, Prescott's accent does. But, we have ten years of him as deputy PM to take issue with and god knows there are more than enough factual policy-related gaffes to pick on - do we really need to resort to this?

The 'you started it defence' doesn't exactly suggest a government in waiting.

Steve Price said...

GG - no let's all laugh at the man who should never have gotten to the position he found himself in in the first place. He's an incompetent, lazy, rude, greedy and arrogant waste of space. I don't care where the man comes from, or what accent he has. But as a politician he has been a complete disaster and his background does not exclude him from criticism.

Alfie said...

I suggest Mr Prescott join the AQK - which stands for the 'Association of Bad Spellers'..

Iain, your Prescottese was pretty convincing apart from the fact that it was too logical.

Book writing, Prescott-style.
1) Cut out lots of words from the newspapers.
2) Chuck them all into the air.
3) Pick them up at random, Pritstick them into a big scrap book, send to publisher.
4) Cash cheque.
5) Enquire about male enhancement operation to transform chippolata into cumberland....

tapestry said...

Watch out Alastair Campbell.

ok cassallis, never read private eye then? lord snooty etc.

Conservatives have a wide ranging ability to appreciate humour including at their own expense. NuLab don't have any so they have to carp about the success of others who outperform them in this department.

It is one reason why left wing blogs are so dull, and unread.

mutleythedog said...

Who on earth would want to read a book by this ridiculous and unpleasant man?

iain rules o.k. said...

Iain Dale said...

And you wonder why lefties haven;t got a sense of humour.

Still sulking are we pet? Noticed you have still not replied to the row you started on the other thread.Do you think it appropriate to use bad language ,even thinly disguised bad language ? Bit of the one rule for Iain, and boll***'* to the cretins that post here is it ?

ratty tatty said...

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Good news, I see comment moderation is back on.You will be able to sleep soundly again tonight.Bloody worrying those fellows posting yesterday,don't you think.

comfy socks said...

Alan Douglas said...

Mr Prescott,

You spelled fookin' feckin' wrong !

Alan Douglas

See a big improvement now comment moderation is in force.This is what the punters want Iain.

Giles said...

Prescott embodies everything that is rotten about the Left generally and NuLab in particular: greed, incompetence, arrogance and smug "do as I say, but not as I do" hypocrisy. This dimwit should never have been let anywhere political office, yet his lack of any ability is excused on the grounds that he somehow "had to work to get where he is", as if that makes the blindest bit of difference.

People laugh at him for being an uncouth, northern bully because that's all he ever was. He showed that a complete lack of talent, manners and judgment was no barrier to political office; that you could punch members of the public and grope colleagues without having to suffer any consequences; that you could enjoy the trappings of power and living off taxpayers whilst squeezing as much money out of the public as possible.

Prescott has done more than anyone else to reinforce stereotypical attitudes towards the "northern working class". He had a chance to display his "salt of the earth" credentials, but failed in every possible way. So instead of whining about Iain's post try taking a look at the sort of people you NuLab types put into government in the first place.

you need the labour trolls said...

neil h said...

"Can I go to the ranch? Please let me go the ranch. I want to go to the ranch!"

With comment moderation on,it's just one gem after another.

Anonymous said...

This is what we, Iain. Third-hand jokes about a stupid, useless and now out-of-power politician. Top blogging.

ten more years said...

tapestry said...

Watch out Alastair Campbell.

Is it true that you are the sister of the "the blogs' spinster" newmaniac ? You both have that same simpering,whimpering style.

Cassilis said...

Tapestry,

I'll just let the irony of the fact that you spelt my name wrong on this thread of all threads hang in the air for others to chuckle at..

I have read (indeed subscribe to) Private Eye but I don't see the connection with my comment? In essence I'm just pointing out that this level of playground abuse doesn't befit a party seeking office - granted Iain isn't an MP and yes, it's extremely common and something we face hourly but that doesn't excuse it. Have we no notion of the moral high ground anymore...?

the nice party said...

judith said...

Are the Labour-voting burghers of Hull really, really pleased with the performance of Mr Prescott in recent weeks?

Yes,are your lot happy with Cameroon ? We are.

tapestry said...

mutleythedog. Can you imagine the spin-offs? John Prescott's Book of English Grammar. John Prescott's Book of Ettiquette. John Prescott's Dating Tips. The list is endless.

C4' said...

Who on earth would want to read a book by this ridiculous and unpleasant man

The same reason they read Labour Cllr Terry Kelly's blog - to have a laugh at the expense of the mentally retarded

Anonymous said...

if he sells 100 books he should consider it a triumph. what publisher would soil their reputation by promoting this utter rubbish.

JP said...

Cripes!! Is this blog going to Hull in a handcart?

Anonymous said...

Coming to all "Bookends" outlets soon - £1.99

The Huntsman said...

I reckon you have rather overplayed his English Language and Literary abilities, given that he is the only MP equipped with a wrecking ball in his mouth.

Anonymous said...

I heard that when Prescott had an office at Whitehall directly above Margaret Beckett's, he would express his distaste for his then-cabinet colleague by expressing distasteful wind all around her office whenever she weren't there. Eeh bah gum by eck as lak.

David Lindsay said...

Aren't the working calsses hilarious? Just as well that they've now been driven out of politics entirely, isn't it?

Hughes Views said...

The banner to your blog is green today - indicating a touch of envy perhaps? By your age Mr P had been an MP for 22 years....

beaubodor said...

Reluctant as I am to use an old gag in this situation :

http://www.bbdo.co.uk/blog/archives/541

chris said...

One can't help wondering if the publisher who is paying £500,000 to this heap of shite is now in for a knoghthood or a peerage. I cannot see any commercial reason for making such an advance.

Sea Shanty Irish said...

RE: Ghost writers

Surely BORIS JOHNSON and the ignoble LORDS ARCHER & BLACK can each recommend legions of hacks well-versed in transforming incoherent babbling into semi-inteligible English?

If they can do THAT for a pack of fradulent Tory twits, Wrinkled, am certain they'll do even better by the Hamlet of Hull!

Though a glossary would be a good idea.

And Chris, the global remainder market is a modern miracle.

bebopper said...

It's not that Prescott is working-class. It's just that he's thick, boorish and greedy.

BTW, where is Chris Paul these days? Do Gordon's trolls have to change their names every couple of months?

Anonymous said...

John Prescott is an MP for Hull but he is not from Hull. At the risk of causing real controversy, Hull is not in the North. (Newcastle is generally regarded as being in the North-East and Hull is well to the south of Newcastle.) Hull is in the East Riding of Yorkshire and is basically part of the East Coast, which reaches from the East Riding down to East Anglia.

Anonymous said...

It may be appropriate for John Prescott, in his memoirs, to explain why - unlike the other two MPs for Hull (Alan Johnson and Diana Johnson) - he was not seen in the city following the recent floods. Or, if he was, why none of the local media noticed.

Fidothedog said...

Quite who is going to read anything written or ghost written by Prescott. The very thought of that chap going into detail about his sweaty fumblings with his cheap skank from the office is not something that I would want to read.

Besides there is far better porn on the internet, so I have heard.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

I went to Robin Cook's book launch in Edinburgh, but he seemed a bit nonplussed when I said, "Tell me Robin, is it true that you left your wife for a Gay Norwegian?"

Anonymous said...

People forget that Prescott does have a respectable degree in Economics and Economics History from the University of Hull. He just has an unfortunate tendency to mangle the English language when speaking in public. Apparently, he doesn't have the same problem in normal conversation.

tory boys never grow up said...

Typical condescending Tory claptrap - will you ever learn?

So Prescott speaks with a working class accent and mangles his words, so what? At least he is able to make good jokes about it.

In terms of educational attainment I suspect his degree from Ruskin College is every bit as good as one from the University of East Anglia, and in terms of political attainment someone who couldn't even win North Norfolk for the Conservatives has very little to boast about.

Anonymous said...

For the benefit of tory boy never grows up, John Prescott's degree from Ruskin College is not as good as a degree from the University of East Anglia for the simple reason that he did not get a degree from Ruskin College. It is not a degree-awarding institution. It prepares mature (trade union) students for university, as in Prescott's case. He went from Ruskin to Hull University, where he did achieve a degree.

Matt said...

How awful that someone with a northern accent should have been deputy prime minister. For your information people say 'fook' from Birmingham northwards - that's more than half the population.

Also, John Prescott is not from an especially working-class background - he grew up in an ordinary semi-detached house in Ellesmere port. If 'middle' in 'middle-class' actually meant middle (rather than being used to refer to the 1 in 15 who are privately educated), then that is what John Prescott is.

Anonymous said...

And you wonder why people think Tories are snobs?