Thursday, August 09, 2007

Nigel Clough to Oust Cameron

Now THIS is funny. What do Grimsby Town FC and David Cameron have in common. Cod Almighty, the Grimsby Town Fanzine, reveals all...
Conservative officials moved swiftly last night to deny rumours that the Parliamentary party has been infiltrated by supporters of fringe political splinter group Grimsby Town Football Club.As Tory MPs responded to two insignificant by-election defeats this week by calling for a vote of no confidence in leader David Cameron, pundits of football and politics noted remarkable parallels with fans of the Mariners, who are also notorious for responding to the smallest of setbacks by demanding their manager be sacked. Many Conservatives were uneasy about Cameron's appointment in 2005 but, as the party soared to its highest poll ratings for more than ten years, put aside their reservations in the hope of success at the next General Election.Similarly, Town supporters who hated Alan Buckley – the most successful manager in the 129-year history of the club – for having a personality and not cravenly sucking up to them in press interviews reluctantly consented to his return in 2006 as the club plummeted towards relegation from the Football League.But the knives were out for Cameron this week – almost two years before the likely date of his first chance to fight a General Election – after an inevitable slip in the polls following Gordon Brown's accession as Prime Minister, together with defeat in the Sedgefield and Ealing Southall by-elections, which they never had a cat in hell's chance of winning in the first place.And a brief run of poor form last winter had some GTFC followers calling for Buckley's head on a plate – despite his having been installed as manager just weeks previously and inheriting a
patently inadequate squad. And a brief run of poor form last winter had some GTFC followers calling for Buckley's head on a plate – despite his having been installed as manager just weeks previously and inheriting a patently inadequate squad. As it was, the 56-year-old manager survived to lead the Mariners to a respectable 15th-place finish, but when Buckley returned to the helm the club had already worked its way through five managers since he was last sacked in 2000. And should rebel MPs succeed in toppling Cameron, the infamously fickle Tory party will need to elect a fifth new leader since John Major stepped down in 1997.Party insiders reveal that the names in the frame to replace Cameron are shadow Chancellor George Osborne, Tory policy director Oliver Letwin, shadow Foreign Secretary and former leader William Hague, and Burton Albion manager Nigel Clough.Despite the overwhelming evidence, party officials continue to deny that Town fans are taking over the Tories. A Conservative Central Office spokesperson said today: "Tory MPs and Grimsby Town fans may both be fantastically spineless and ridiculously impatient, with an amazing inability to learn the lessons of the immediate past, but rumours of a Grimsby infiltration of the Conservative Party are nothing more than idle speculation. This is crap, Tories – we should be beating these by a landslide. Booooooo, sort it Camerons."

Thought you'd enjoy that...

13 comments:

Ursula said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Machiavelli's Understudy said...

That article sounds tacitly supportive- or at least empathetic- of Cameron and the Party to a lesser extent.

Am I reading too much in to it?

Benedict White said...

Iain, very good and very funny!

Ed said...

Excellent - and true.

tapestry said...

Constant media attacks have helped to weld team Conservative together, and put Cameron, the new manager into a strong position. He brushed aside the '1922' attempt by opponents of his management, and his team have all declared loyalty.

Cameron has defended brilliantly in previous matches, conceding few goals, but was rarely able to penetrate Blair County's defences. His own strikers, especially Grayling are now starting to score and make inroads onto Brown turf, and relegation which not long ago was certainly a possibility is now not even mentioned.

The betting prices on promotion are falling rapidly, as opposing teams suddenly look vulnerable. Grimsby Town could learn from this.

Andrew Woodman said...

Very good. I think Sir Brian Clough would turn in his grave to see Nigel Clough's name linked in with Tories though.

Hughes Views said...

"Tory MPs and Grimsby Town fans may both be fantastically spineless...". Bit of a slur on fine fishing folk, what?

Hamer Shawcross said...

Superb!

anthonynorth said...

tapestry puts it well, but has he forgotten the off-side rule?

Chuck Unsworth said...

I thought GTFC grounds were under a few fathoms of water.

C4' said...

Hague For PM

Wrinkled Weasel said...

Iain, I know you are openly enthusiastic about football, but there is such a thing as ramming it down peoples' throats.

Wrinkled Weasel said...

;-)