Tuesday, November 20, 2007

But It's 18 Inches Too Big!

Regular readers may recall that five weeks ago I ordered a new bed (see HERE). I wanted an oversize length bed so for the first time in my life my feet wouldn't hang out the end. So I duly ordered a 7 feet long bed. Beds still come in feet and inches, which is nice. Today I got the call that the bed could be delivered tomorrow morning. Excellent, I thought.

But I knew it was too good to be true. Sure enough, this afternoon came the call that, well, sorry, but the bed isn't quite the size you ordered, Sir. Oh joy. Oh well, I thought, no matter. Six inches between friends won't hurt anyone will it, Matron? It was then that I remembered I had already ordered sheets to fit the exact size. Damn. And then came the piece de resistance. Ah Sir, came the reply, it's actually 18 inches wider than you ordered.

So it will now be another few weeks until my feet get to rest their weary selves on a mattress. Why is it that this sort of thing always happens to me?!

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

"Six inches between friends won't hurt anyone will it, Matron?"

Well, it depends on your friends.

Anonymous said...

I thought they were going to deliver it in three weeks - not five? (Don't people remember funny things about you, Iain!)

Anonymous said...

i'm 6ft3, and i've solved the problem with a king sized bed, lying diagonally across it. :)

that may prove a problem when i get a partner however...

Anonymous said...

Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for you!

Anonymous said...

Our Customs people are too incompetent to stop Brown fleeing the country to avoid PMQs tomorrow.
I've heard he's wearing a wig and false beard, but someone else says he's wearing a burqua - no doubt with a nappy underneath.

Unsworth said...

Iain,

You're not getting this, are you? It's nothing personal, just business.

Trubes said...

Iain Dahling, you should have told them to "foot off" and gone to John Lewis ! Pretty feet, mind, are they yours ?

Anonymous said...

But your sheets still won't fit.

Oh sheet!

Anonymous said...

What if you rotate it 90 degrees- will it be the right size then? Wasn't IKEA was it?

Anonymous said...

Iain,

Have you heard of warrenevans.co.uk?

I bought one of their beds 2 years ago and have never looked back. They will build any size of bed for you you want - and, most importantly, assemble it in your bedroom for you while you sit back enjoying a gin and tonic - or a fruit juice in your case....

Too late to cancel your original order?!

Tom A

SorenK said...

Such coruscating political comment. I'm so glad I dropped by. I think I'll go back to youtube and look for funny vidoes about cute cats.

Anonymous said...

That'll teach you for slagging off Ikea before the delivery arrived!

Anonymous said...

Yes Sorenk,

I've just had a look at your blog and you obviously need to get some inspiration from somewhere.

Johnny Norfolk said...

Iain

i am getting concerned about your lifestyle, all this talk of beds is unhealthy. Are you spending to much time in them. Are you in the cycle of going to bed later and later and getting up later and later, i think so .

I would cancel the order and have a much smaller bed with a very hard mattress. You wont want to spend as much time in it then and you can follow a healty regime.

In bed by 10. up at 6. on line complete by 7, breakfast ( small ) by 8.

This would be a much better start to the day for you. Its not what I do but I dont need help.

Anonymous said...

Will you be able to get the bed into your bedroom? Ye may titter but large beds can be a massive problem in small houses, especially if the move involves a staircase.....

We once had to sell a brand new lovely kingsize bed - the alternative would have been to swap bedroom and downstairs sittingroom in our tiny little cottage... :-)

Anonymous said...

Frankly, Iain, I'm not terribly interested in your sleeping arrangements. However, the saga reminds me of an episode in the 70s when Essex University ordered several hundred desks for their tower-block student accommodation. When they arrived (not as flat-packs!) it transpired that they wouldn't fit down the narrow corridors in the student flats, so each one had to have 3 or 4 inches sawn off its legs.

(I'm not recommending you adopt that solution!)

Ifan Morgan Jones said...

I'm six foot two and just bought a new longer bed so that I dont have to curl up to fit. But when I wake up in the morning I'm still curled up in the same position...

Anonymous said...

1. why is my comment page in russian?
2. Congrats on the link from Eureferendum blog

Anonymous said...

"But It's 18 Inches Too Big!"
I think I've seen the video but I wouldn't let my wife or servants see it.

Anonymous said...

Learn to sleep on the floor. It's good for your back.

Anonymous said...

It's in German tonight