Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Brown's 'National Neighbourhood Watch' Plan Announced

My contact in the Ministry of Defence was a relieved man this afternoon after having heard Gordon Brown' statement on a National Security Strategy. In fact, he chortling at a job well done by the MoD. He reckons they saw off the PM's attempt to seize powers from them, and instead what he has set up is a series of talking shops. "Instead of a National Security Strategy, what they've come up with is the New Labour equivalent of a National Neighbourhood Watch Strategy - makes everyone feel good but achieves bugger all."

I was most amused to see that there will now be regional offices of Mi5 in towns around the country. It reminds me of the Los Angeles Counter Terrorism Unit, CTU, in the series '24'. However, the thought of a phone being answered by the words 'CTU Dewsbury', just doesn't have the same ring to it.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

O/T but nobody has mentioned PMQs today. I thought Cameron had total control over Brown and the Labour benches were looking utterly dejected.

Ralph said...

Iain,

The one thing I would have hoped The Clunking One would not reduced to spin and no action is national security.

Anonymous said...

Busy doing NOTHING!

The Creator said...

'Most amused' you might be but how much do you suppose this useless, headline-grabbing exercise will cost?

Gordon Brown. Spending your money in his interests!

Anonymous said...

Wasn't the MI5 regional offices announcement made about 18 months ago?

Newmania said...

This sort of pointless initiative reminds me of the late episodes of Friends when the cast were physically too old for the parts and the gimmicks moved from the periphery to the centre . The shark has jumped the pool for this administration and its almost tasteless to watch its slow death on the other side .
I feel , I confess, a little sorry for Brown , the great Oz of the Exchequer turned out to be a bumbling fake but I do not see in him the malevolent evil I see in the Patrician smarm of Nick Clegg.
Listening to Clog pretending to care about the Ghurkhas was one of the most nauseating sights I have watched in a good long while .A quite hateful man who truly is the reborn spirit of Heath.

Anonymous said...

Iain...What the hell was Cameron thinking about at PMQ's asking about Tibet? Brown and or Milliband should have made a statement to the House on the situation in Tibet...Cameron gave Brown the opportunity to look and sound statesmanlike ...I have spoken with the Chinese Premier etc,etc. The bloody economy is in freefall and Cameron misses an ideal opportunity to land a blow....What is the game plan here....Marlin 2

Nick Drew said...

Yup, for the most important topic imaginable it's utterly feeble.

Fisked here

Unsworth said...

Ah yes, the MI5 Drop-in Centre. Ours is heavily disguised - as befits the secret organisation. The sign outside reads 'Help the Aged' but we all know better than that, don't we?

It was a bit of a shaky start - I put that down to Mrs Riley's rock cakes which really take some getting used to - but things are really humming now. At first I put that down to tinnitus, but it seems they've installed huge amounts of new technology behind the Meals on Wheels redoubt. They're running all sorts of courses on new skills and technology, from Basic Zimmer and Support Tight Training for Beginners through to Advanced Macrame and Non-Lethal Incontinence.

The Mobility Section is particularly fine what with Scooter Tuning and Mods, Stannah Lift Tricks and Cheats etc. Doug Vincent has really got a grip with his scooter GT. He reckons it's good for 25 mph on the flat in Sainsbury's. My how we all laughed when he did his handbrake turn and smashed into the fresh fish counter. He's talking about doing the full Boadicea and fitting some scythe blades to the sides for when the Russkies loom over the horizon (don't mention that to Health and Safety, eh!).

But the real fun starts in the CCTV Section. You'd be amazed at what can be seen. We've got one camera permanently trained on the Vicar's bedroom window - he never draws the curtains. He's incredibly athletic - never seems to draw breath. Quite how the 'ladies' manage to stand up afterwards is a mystery.

That nice man from MI5 says we're all well on the way to overcoming The Enemy Within - but enough about my flatulence. Think I'll just nip over to the canteen for a tea and a fortifying Digestive or two before opening the Second Front.

MB said...

Wasn't there an article in one of the Sundays a few weeks ago about MI5 regional offices? It sounded as if they were already in operation.

What is the catch behind the increase in MI5 staff to 4000? That appears to be an additional 1000 which sounds very suspicious, there must be a catch.

MB

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Unsworth said everything I wanted to, only better.

What a totally barking mad exercise in fatuity. Has Gordon been taking PR advice from Heather Mills or something?

Anonymous said...

Well said Unsworth and Nick Drew. The first thoughts that popped into my head when I read the headlines about a flu pandemic were much the same. Keep the fear going - only now most people don't beleive a word about terror, flu and any other pandemic - especially Bird Flu, climate change (man made of course). This government is run by a bunch of total tossers and has no authority.

Roger Thornhill said...

Mi5 in the regions, eh? Don't you mean in the 9 EU provinces formally known as England?

Why is it the Tories are so silent on the creeping Regionalisation of England?

machiavelli said...

the regional MI5 offices is a re-announcement; been planned for ages and are already being built.

Anonymous said...

So who in MI5 or the RSS is taking notes on the transmissions on 'Radio free Bradford' with all its subversive curry recipies?

Sales of trench-coat macs have boomed...