Saturday, May 17, 2008

Great Ripostes of Our Time: No 94

From tomorrow's Independent on Sunday...

Comedian Jim Tavare opened on stage with the line: "Hello, I'm a
schizophrenic", to which one audience member's riposte was, "Well you can both
f*** off then."

15 comments:

killemallletgodsortemout said...

Didn't Bonio start a slow hand clap at one of those Save the Africans concerts and say "Every time I clap my hands, a child dies in Africa".

To which came the reply, "Well, stop clapping, you c*nt"

Or something like that.....

TrevorH said...

The Independent seems to be developing a cruel streak. It recently described the governments behaviour as 'spasic'

Adrian Yalland said...

Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

audience member at Rich Hall gig: "how come you got so fat Rich?"

RH reply: "cause every time I f****d your mother she gave me a biscuit"

Anonymous said...

He's clearly not very educated. Thinking you're 2 (or more) people is Multiple Personality Disorder, not schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is when you can't tell what's real and keep imaging things.

Tony Kennick said...

I hope Jim then explained slowly and carefully the difference between schizophrenia and MPD.

verity said...

Tony Kennick - V good!

Anonymous said...

Who is Jim Tavare. Never heard of him.

Anonymous said...

O/T apols if you've seen this, but the Campaign for a Witangemot rolls on...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i13uwJympzk

verity said...

11:58,

Surely if he was any good as a lover he'd have burned off the calories from the biscuit. Unless they were real, f***-off massive biscuits.

Darrell G said...

Anon is right...technically speaking having more than one personality is MPD but this made me laugh nonetheless....

Dave H. said...

Not sure that counts as a great riposte, Iain. I suppose Pete & Dud had a classic sketch about an amputee.

Anonymous said...

Andy Goram, the Rangers and Scottish goalkeeper,was diagnosed as being schizophrenic. At his next match the crowd chanted 'There's only two Andy Gorams.'

verity said...

Counterfeit alert. Another emotional inadquate is up on its hind legs trying to masquerade as me.

verity said...

Surely if he was any good as a lover he'd have burned off the calories from the biscuit. Unless they were real, f***-off massive biscuits.
May 18, 2008 8:25 AM

Sad, inadequate little thing, aren't you, little imposter? Pretending to be a girl. Pretending to be a man. What a needy little life!

machiavelli said...

I think they were confusing schizophrenia with Multiple Personality Disorder.